What I Wish I’d Known Before Moving Out on My Own as a First-Gen

When I first moved out, I thought I was prepared. I had the essentials — a bed, a pot, a pan, and my abuelita’s Tupperware stash. But no one tells you that adulthood is more than just paying rent and making sure your fridge has milk. For first-gen kids like me, moving out comes with its own unique mix of cultural expectations, financial realities, and “oops, I should’ve Googled that first” moments.

Here’s what I wish I’d known before packing up my life into three mismatched suitcases:

1. Budgeting is more than rent + groceries

I thought if I could cover rent, food, and Wi-Fi, I’d be golden. But I didn’t account for the sneaky expenses — cleaning supplies, lightbulbs, toilet paper (which somehow disappears faster than pan dulce at a family party), and that random $90 plumber visit because I didn’t know you can’t put certain things down the sink.If I could go back, I’d start with a realistic budget that includes a “stuff I forgot I’d need” category. There are great free budgeting tools like Mint or YNAB that make this less overwhelming.

2. Learning to cook your comfort food matters

I thought I’d just “figure it out” when I craved the food I grew up with. Spoiler: I cried the first time I tried making arroz rojo and it turned out like orange mush. Cooking your cultural comfort food isn’t just about eating well — it’s about keeping a little piece of home with you.If you’re first-gen, I highly recommend learning a few family recipes before you move out. Ask your parents, tías, or grandparents to show you — or follow YouTubers like Views on the Road for easy step-by-step videos.

3. Community doesn’t happen automatically

When you grow up in a tight-knit family, you’re used to a constant stream of people around you. Moving out can feel quiet… too quiet. I wish I’d known that I’d have to be intentional about building my own community — inviting friends over, joining local groups, or even talking to my neighbors.It’s not about replacing your family; it’s about creating your own version of it where you are now.

4. You don’t have to do it the way your parents did

As first-gen, it’s easy to feel like we owe it to our parents to follow their exact blueprint for “success.” I tried to model my life after what I thought they expected, but I realized my path could look different and still honor their sacrifices.Whether it’s your career, lifestyle, or where you live, give yourself permission to blend your family’s wisdom with your own dreams.

Final thoughts

Moving out isn’t just about independence — it’s about learning who you are outside of your family’s home while still carrying them with you. It’s messy, humbling, and sometimes lonely, but it’s also where some of the best growth happens.

If you’re about to move out, prepare your budget, learn your comfort recipes, and start building your community early. And remember: you don’t have to have it all figured out. None of us did.